SUNDAY... Coffee and Cake

Sunday - Coffee and Cake
weekly musings, articles and mostly babble...






Reflection on Inadequacy
Ahhhh, to think it was only a week ago that I was having the panic of the century over losing the internet... I have been thinking about it and to be fair as much as my Etsy work and Blog had come to a standstill, the fact I was pretty ill that weekend with the Rotavirus came at a good time as believe me there was absolutely no way I was going to get anything done whilst living in the bathroom for a few days! Yet it left me feeling insecure which is something I have spent the week trying to reflect upon. That tech guy was right about one thing throughout his non-discreet sexist insults. People do heavily rely on the internet, whether it be for work in my case or just for fun in many cases. Being a stay at home mum I really do find that my escape only comes in the form of doing my own thing, and being busy about it... and I do get that from trying to get my business working as I am passionate about being an artist, and also about the handmade community. I guess being the drama queen that I am, the loss over that weekend left me feeling helpless and ordinary which was amplified by having a nasty bug to contend with! But it's funny how I really did feel a bit insecure without that little bit of independance I rarely get in other forms. Shows how much I love what I do!
But it got me thinking like I say about the lessons being laid out for me. I spent one of the mornings this week, having being blessed with a lie in! chatting to the other half about it. For as long as I can remember I have felt pretty inadequate and small in such a big world... events as they do, happened to make it worse... Like never knowing my dad, going through puberty before I reached 9, having relationships that stripped me of my self esteem are but a few examples which could have been worse, but did unfortunately leave me feeling fearful of losing things that DID give me confidence in myself. Then god bless my fortune, I met my current partner and have lived a very happy life ever since. Surely I should just feel better about everything now! I guess it doesn't work as easily as that... However I do know that I really sould be feeling good about things now, and reached an epiphany when I finally said to myself that I was actually being an absolute retard thinking in any other way! The past is the past come on woman! Seriously, I think it is so easy to fall into the trap of inadequacy you forget to remember that when good things are around, you ARE actually allowed to recognise it and reflect it within! I see so many sad stories in the news about people taking their own lives, or murdering other people due to their own feeling of self loathing and it goes to show the extremes that can come out of true fear. I feel I have learnt a valuble lesson having my partner and son as my guides this week, that true blessings really are disguised if you're the one throwing walls up at every possibility. I think the reason I am an artist and developed an interest in photography in recent years is not just the idea of my soul trying to project the beauty I see in the world, but mirroring the beauty I have been desperate to see in myself for so many years. It makes me more grateful to be doing what I am, whether business can be slow like all of us handmade lot know and experience daily. I understand why i felt lost this weekend, and it has only made me fall deeper in love with art, nature and who I am.

Moonangelnay x

SUNDAY... Coffee and Cake

Sunday - Coffee and Cake
weekly musings, articles and mostly babble...





I have had a pretty good week for a change when it comes to getting things done, so you've probably noticed already i finally have new prints in my store... 6 infact!!! go me! I've been feeling a bit sorry for myself up until i managed to fashion organisation into my head at some point about 6 days ago, and since I have been on fire! I've even managed to get a tonne of housework done!

At the same time I have been celebrating reaching the second trimester this week, managing to get a hospital appointment for a dating scan after all hell broke loose last week with my GP and chosen hospital since my referal had magically disappeared weeks ago, which frighteningly left me with no place to have the baby! A million phone calls later, and I am now looking forward to my first appointment this week *sighs*. yes! and yesterday I had a Halloween party with my other half, son and his lil friends. That was a good end to a busy week. All in all I am happy... OHHHHHHHHH and to top it all off yesterday I was also asked if I wanted to showcase my work in a shopping event at the Warwickshire Exhibition Center which left me elated at the prospect!!! Emphasis on prospect... my only downer... that I may not be able to do it, but I am awaiting more information to see if I can because, OMG my own little stall in an EXHIBITION CENTER... WOOP!!!! Also I have previously turned down 2 other opportunities this year like it and I REALLY dont want to have to for this one because of the usual money issues... short term ones I mean, as obviously longer term it would be a good spend as I would sell the work and make up for it, but unfortunately the short term really does leave the whole idea in question so I need to think very hard and carefully about it... and HOPEFULLY, I'll be able to do it! I'm so chuffed that I had been found on Etsy and asked to take part. I guess even if I can't it's a nice feeling to think that event organisers 3 times this year have liked what I do enough to go out of their way to find and contact me!

So whilst I'm puffed up with pride and achievement this week I think I'll leave this short entry here for this Sunday :)

SUNDAY... Coffee and Cake

Sunday - Coffee and Cake
weekly musings, articles and mostly babble...



I'm currently in the process of discovering the classic joys of pregnancy as most of you probably know from my previous Sunday post, and so far this week I've been under the hopeful (yet very naive) belief that because I am approaching the 2nd Trimester, all of the lovely things that have been happening to me lately will cease to plague my days. However I am wondering if I'm going to be one of the lucky ladies that lives in the 1st trimester throughout the entire 40 week period, as so far I haven't noticed any let up in my pregnancy symptoms. Only that they appear to be getting worse! Eek!

When I was pregnant with my son I loved the fact that despite having physical trauma towards the start, and the need for chiropractic care 4 times a week for many months I was pretty fortunate to not experience morning sickness, nor the loss of appetite thing and the like... but bloomin heck, I dont know what's worse at the moment. It's pretty frightening actually, as I'm sure highly amusing for anyone that watches me heaving 100s of times a day, but I have completely lost my desire for food, and because my sense of smell seems to be amplified, any food stuffs I approach sets off this uncontrollable need to be sick. It's terrible and I don't know what to do about it. If it was just the sickness that's fair enough but to loose my desire for food and find every smell I come across physically unbearable worries me a lot, particularly as it seems to be getting worse. I hear a lot of women get this problem but I never imagined morning sickness to go as far as this. I look forward to the day that I dont have to retch all the way through my cooking and spend millions of years trying to get through meals, I only hope that it lets up soon!


Despite the fun and games, I have been back on form all week enjoying finding lots of newbies to help promote and making the necessary alterations in my store (slowly but surely). Glad to have successfully managed it all too in amongst all the goings on at home too, but I have felt that despite the changes something feels a bit empty. The great things I think have been making more time for myself on top of my usual duties, but for some reason there is this feeling that with the blog in particular there is a need for something more. I have been considering adding a new weekly post, which I thought could involve linking to helpful resources, focusing on the arts, design, marketing, business... you know, the generally need to know's for I guess a lot of people trying to work from home as there is SOOOO much that I have found to be handy myself, and not enough venues that list all the need to knows in one place. I personally have 1000s of links bookmarked in my browser and most of the time I'm driven nutty trying to go through what I find to be particularly helpful to me, as my internet habits normally involve me coming across these kind of things then bookmarking them for later reading (lack of time factor). As I do have a lot of good one's (that I have managed to check out) I know for me and anyone that's interested, to have them all available in one place will be handy for future reference. This will all need planning though as I still havent worked out how to make this idea an organised idea, nor how I plan to catagorize topics on the blog to keep things minimal yet accessible. So this one is one that'll come in time. I'll keep ya posted :)

I think maybe I'll end this one for today, as the week has been more of an adjustment to changes than interesting things to share that have occured so hopefully next week I'll have a lot more to talk about, now that I'm back into the swing of things!

SUNDAY... Coffee and Cake

Sunday - Coffee and Cake

I'm Back!!!

After an astonishingly awkward few weeks, I can hope that this is the beginning of a most definite return without disruption!

Wow things have been hectic. Infact that is a slight understatement really, so much has happened it's any wonder I haven't lost the plot yet but to my relief I think things surrounding our life at home will return to normal fairly soon.

Unfortunately my other half's very poorly dad passed away about a week ago, so in amongst everything that has been the saddest part of our busy few weeks. However it's good to know that he is no longer suffering. I commend Elric for being as strong as he is being about it. He has had such a difficult time lately, I am really glad that he's now ready to move forward.

As for me and my pregnancy, things are going well of which I am glad about. No scans booked yet but I shall be seeing a midwife for the first appointment in a week or two so hopefully I'll know more about what's to come then, including which hospital is willing to take me! I'm excited as unlike my first two pregnancies with my first ending prematurely, this one minus the morning sickness seems to be going pretty well to our relief! I only hope that things continue this way, minus the morning sickness LOL!

So let me inform you of my plans... I intend to bring back Monday Magic tomorrow, and my Friday finds interview this week also. As for Sunday Coffee and Cake, I will be continuing the post however because of time and planning that is involved with the articles, I will be intergrating normal posts like todays as an example into the updates each week. So Sundays may not necessarily bring an article, but sometimes just a normal blog post about whatever may inspire me at the time! It means I can be an organised lady and reserve just the 3 days I usually use for the blog instead of 7 days which was what I had to do before (mainly for the Sunday posts... planning and writing!). With a busy family life and busier one to come, I think this is a fair deal on everyone at home, and still allows me to help new sellers on Etsy without any changes in how I do things on both Mondays and Fridays. I look forward to doing this again :)

I'd like to announce that I now offer flat rate FREE POSTAGE worldwide on all photography in my store. I am due to make some new price changes too, to make the process of understanding how much different sized print costs more easy to understand as I know at the moment my prices can be one of two things depending on the work put into the photograph during editing. I intend to make this cost flat rate for the size, without taking the time of working nor the type of paper into account. This will make my work more affordable and a lot more straightforward when it comes to choosing what you would like me to create for you. This change should come into effect shortly!

I also have lots of new prints coming into the store that I have been diligently been working on lately. They are perfect for the halloween and colder seasons as they are very mystical and gothic in ways. My work always seems to reflect my moods so understandably you'll know where the inspiration is derived from considering recent events, when you get to see them.

All in all I think that is all I wanted to say. I am off now to search for my Monday Magic peeps for tomorrow! If you're a new seller with 0-19 sales, then get in touch and I'll be straight over to your store for a peek :)

All the Best everyone and thanks to those who have left such lovely supportive messages lately, my love to you all.

moonangelnay x x x

Autumn Unfolds

Fall is my favorite time of the year. I live in Central Illinois where despite the cold winters, I enjoy the succession of the seasons. If I lived in a place where the seasons never changed, I imagine I would be stricken with a sort of grief.

Change is inevitable, impossible to avoid, and Fall over all the seasons demonstrates this to us. Why? Because Fall is beautiful, more beautiful than the other seasons. In her bright burst before death, Fall heightens the senses, brings us closer to our bodies, refreshes the psyche.

In the arts, Autumn has been depicted by a hare, vine-leaves or a horn of Plenty brimming with fruit. In mythology, the season is sacred to Dionysus, the god of wine.

Every Fall, I become super-sensitive to the two-day interim between the tail end of Summer and the beginning of Fall. I can remember the warmth of the final day, how the clouds looked, and how I felt; and then, I recall the arrival of the first Autumn day and her cold breath on my face.

I am rejuvenated in the cold air, my whole body awakens. As if Summer were only a long slumber. The scents in the air come alive. I can smell the high school bonfires burning before homecoming. And the corn husk after the fields are cleared. The sky appears as if it has been scrubbed clean; provides a stark background for the range of colors in the leaves.

Driving down the tree-lined streets of my neighborhood, I think of golden apples, which is what the trees look like to me.

The succession of the seasons punctuate the rhythm of life. The seasons reflect our own stages from birth, growth, maturity, and decline. If the leaves are able to move us, then perhaps it is because we see a reflection of ourselves in their beauty. Their beauty represents change, alteration, succession. We sense our own fate in the changing of the landscape.

Really the only proper attitude to take toward life is to marvel at it. To marvel and to keep marveling and never to stop.

When my energy returns (and I'll never understand how I lost it), I gain momentum in my thoughts and my emotions and once again I have a passion to accomplish things. When my energy returns, I feel alive again, throbbing with motivation and good ideas. This overflow of energy of course produces an excitement and a desire for more energy, more action, more accomplishment. Sometimes I get too far ahead of myself.

If there is any "work" to be done in nature, I don't see it. What I see in nature is an unfoldment, a succession of events without effort. I wonder if my life can become like that.

As an adolescent I swung between two extremes--an excessive, almost manic self-directedness, in school, sports and social life--or the opposite, which was undirected, amorphous, purposelessness. You watch the seasons and see neither one of these extremes. You watch the seasons and see how life occurs, how nature unfolds.